Google’s Pixel 4 and 4 XL finally saw the light of day on the 24 October after what felt like a lifetime of leaks. We’ve known about the design for these devices long before their release and have since been deliberating over which colour we’d pick for our Pixel.

We’ve given the Pixel 4 high praise in our review, although it’s worth noting the issue of the phone’s facial recognition being able to open the device even with your eyes closed. Google has promised to fix this in the coming months, but if you’ve got something to hide we recommend minimising the afternoon naps to avoid another ‘ Wagatha Christie ’ style episode. Don’t fall victim to the ‘Pixel Poirot’ or, God forbid, the ‘Murder She Screen Grabbed’.

If you don’t have these concerns because you are a good citizen with nothing to hide, then read on. The second most important feature to consider, next to security, is always the colour of your device. Read on for our comprehensive analysis of what your choice of Pixel 4 colour says about you.

Buy the Pixel now

Just Black

You’re not working for the Man, you are the Man. The tube is not an adequate form of travel for you, it’s only use being to house vermin and buskers that exclusively cover U2. No, only the most direct and streamlined travel experience will do and if it’s not in the form of a helicopter or an Addison Lee, you’re firing a maid.

Just Black screams (but more likely shouts) “get Tokyo on the phone” amongst other phrases such as “moving parts” and “we need to drill down.” Any conversation is simply a string of business jargon, punctuated by painfully strong double espressos, and often leave all other participants questioning their choice in suit.

Clearly White

Why get an Americano with milk from your popular coffee chain when you could get a single shot, extra hot, pumpkin spiced, special brew with soy but also cream because, whilst you’re not lactose intolerant or Vegan (though your Instagram says otherwise), it’s your cheat day and you’re conflicted.

And no wonder, John Lewis have run out of the Le Creuset roasting set in soft teal and you don’t have time to source it elsewhere. Finding a spare minute between your reggae beats boxing session and your guided meditation is just not an option right now.

Oh So Orange

Your friends refer to you as the “zany one” of the group and, whilst this is the politically correct term to use, “unhinged” is probably closer to the truth.

Many might look at this bright shade and promptly dismiss it because of its novelty factor and the nature of fashion’s fast moving trends. Not you. You live in the moment. Your middle name is “carpe diem” and if you don’t listen to the voice in your head that’s telling you to climb that tree over there, well, what’s the point in living.

In all honesty, you weren’t even considering buying a new phone had the Pixel’s orange glow not taken your eye outside that fateful Carphone Warehouse . This purchase will no doubt be short lived; resenting the fact it’s necessary to own a phone in modern society, you’ll probably give it to the homeless man outside Tesco Express.

Buy the Pixel now