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This article was originally published on ult by Mynah Marie. . cult is a Berlin-based community platform for developers. We write about all things career-related, make original documentaries and share heaps of other untold developer stories from around the world.

It’s a familiar feeling which creeps up on you in the most crucial moments. You keep it under control and look around you. You know, deep down inside, that you’re not alone. You know that, most probably, 90% of the people around you struggle with the same problem.

It’s a common topic of conversation amongst professionals and friends, friends of professionals, and even students. We all suffer from it in silence to one extent or another. It brings up uncomfortable waves of laughter or intense conversations during therapy. It’s the constant struggle we feel… or not. Maybe we grew up in an environment prone to imposter syndrome and we just learned to live with it, so much so that we don’t feel it anymore.

After all, this constant discomfort when facing the outside world and our professional life is what everyone is experiencing, right? Isn’t it how things are? Isn’t that how life is supposed to be a battleground where we go out in the world armed with our people’s skills, knowledge and degrees and learn to navigate the undercurrents of success?

But the illusion is so perfect. How is that possible? Everyone seems so confident. Everyone seems to know so much. No matter how you look at it, other people always seem better equipped for life than you are.

That’s what the imposter syndrome is: an illusion and a damn powerful one at that. It spreads like an infection and tricks your mind into believing an alternate, biased vision of reality shaped by all your emotional wounds, traumas and experiences.

There’s good news though: imposter syndrome is not a doomed condition you need to learn to live with. You can learn to navigate it and turn it into an ally.

So how do we break the illusion?

Focus on the good news: because you think you’re an imposter, you probably are NOT

When we start facing our imposter syndrome, the first question that usually comes up is: “How do I know that I’m not an imposter? How do I know that I’m not lying to myself?”

Here’s how I decided to look at it: the simple fact that you care so much about your work, that you’re always wondering if you’re good enough, means that, most probably, you are doing everything you can and should be doing to be great at what you do. Does it make sense?

If you spend your time questioning yourself and struggling with your self-confidence, it means that you really care about and love your work.

Being an imposter isn’t about skills, it’s about honesty. From the moment you are working on yourself and putting energy to improve and grow your skills, you’re doing things right. You can trust that fact and give yourself a break.

Find someone who can act as a clear mirror

When I was in the deepest of feeling like an imposter, my perception of my reality was completely distorted. I was lucky to have a close friend that patiently took the time to remind me what my reality, as seen from an outside perspective, really was.

Finding the courage to open up is challenging but it’s the first step in healing. Maybe we are ashamed to admit that we feel like an imposter or we think that revealing this means that we admit to being an imposter.

Opening up to someone who cares about us is the first step in taking responsibility for improving ourselves to ultimately have a better quality of life.

Learn to adjust your internal dialogue with yourself

The words we use to talk about ourselves, even only internally, can have a powerful impact on us. Learn to observe the kind of words you use when you’re talking to yourself. Anything that implies bringing yourself down (“I’m so stupid… I’ll never be able to do this.”, “Who am I kidding?”, etc…) needs to go.

A very simple trick that helped me battle my negative internal dialogue is the rubber band method. For a few weeks, put an elastic around your wrist. Every time you catch yourself thinking negatively, pull the rubber band (it should pinch you a little but it’s not about inflicting pain or anything! Just a small pinch).

If you apply this with discipline and consistency, you’ll be surprised at how fast you’ll see a change in your mental patterns and it feels good! Energy increases as less is wasted in wrestling with yourself, and the voices finally quiet down.

Understand what the imposter in you is trying to communicate

Like it or not, your imposter syndrome is there for a reason. It usually roots itself in fears of failure or success, childhood environment, or other kinds of traumas.

In its nature, it’s a reaction to something. What are you reacting to? What are you really afraid of? Understanding the root of the pain allows us to possibly readjust areas of our lives that are not serving us properly.

Imposter syndrome can help us answer questions like:

Am I pushing myself in a direction that I don’t really want to follow?

Why do I feel the need to resist in this situation?

What’s my core belief behind this lack of confidence?

The bottom line is, if we understand it and ask the right questions, it can lead us to discover very interesting aspects of ourselves.

Turning our imposter syndrome from enemy to ally is not always an easy task. But if we do decide to put in the internal work necessary to improve our quality of life, we can turn it into a precious tool that helps us define clear boundaries and helps us get back on track in the best direction to achieve our goals and dreams.

Good UX isn’t enough — websites must enchant us again

The internet of the old days was amazing, wasn’t it?

One day it suddenly became possible to chat with anyone anywhere across the globe, and everything changed. Soon you were able to read about any obscure topic that came across your mind while buying a book or shoes or virtually anything you wanted from the comfort of your living room or office. It was like a totally new world to explore that sprang from our own. It was magical. It was an adventure.

Nowadays, those things seem mundane. We aren’t mesmerized by them anymore because, for better or worse, everyone from big brands to disruptive startups conditioned us to expect them to be a part of our normal lives.

Now we get bored if things are not instant and unlimited. Our patience runs out in milliseconds. The magical aspect of what it once was has almost vanished.

That doesn’t mean that adventure on the internet is completely gone… but it does look different now. Creators and innovators of all kinds are proving that there is no end to the creativity of the human mind, even in this hyper-connected world.

While many of the classic pre-YouTube viral videos remain some of the best, the new stuff being put out on several platforms at an increasing rate is just as good, if not better.

But in some ways, I worry the online experience may never feel as exciting as it did in the Wild West-esque landscape of the old internet again.

Storytelling is key

In my opinion, the practice and prevalence of “UX design” is definitely partially to blame. When the vast majority of companies and their armies of designers and product managers race to make the web easier and more efficient to use, they lose sight of also making it fun and exciting.

Sure, there is an understandable need for “moments of delight” and “branded” or “ownable” UX or UI patterns, but that’s not real storytelling. And it’s certainly not going to create amazement and enchantment — crucial elements for new companies trying to make big waves.

This isn’t me saying that UX design isn’t important. I built my career and agency on the foundations of UX design. What I am saying, however, is that storytelling and true human connection is just as important, if not more important in some cases, than well thought-out, bulletproof, hyper-logical systems.

Designers are being forced to be data-driven in their decisions to a point where all human characteristics are sanitized out. Things may convert better in the moment, but the overall story and human connection is lost.

Too much work, not enough fun

Another problem from the last ten years or so is that the internet has become a place to do work instead of learning and being entertained. In fact, the number of people working from home has jumped 140% since 2008 , and it will continue to climb even after the pandemic, aided by the internet and the array of digital, remote work tools now at our fingertips.

Yes, there is still social media, entertainment, and marketing, but people spend so much of their time online dealing with emails, shopping, or their bank that everything has started to look like a web app. This approach is missing out in critical places where immersive storytelling could and should have been the method of delivery.

The common denominator of what’s missing has been the same for a while now: humanity. What do humans need and want from an online experience? They need to get jobs done, sure, but they want more than that.

They want to have fun. They want to feel secure. They want to be a part of something bigger than themselves. They want to connect . That is what the internet of old truly excelled at, and it’s what any company (whether a global brand or startup) should want to achieve.

No brand can service all of these needs all the time, but it would be beneficial for us all if we started taking them more into account when creating. Our storytelling can be just as important as our systems design.

Businesses can’t just be concerned with making something people can use but making something they want to use. We can meet expectations in an unexpected way. We can give people an experience to brag about.

Use your tech wisely

Like I said before, there is still excitement in the tech and startup world, but it looks different. Virtual reality is becoming more sophisticated and more accessible every day, especially with things like the Oculus Quest 2.

VR facilitates an environment where fun, communication, and work can converge in unprecedented ways and has literally created a new virtual world where the possibilities are endless.

Brands like Gucci have also begun merging marketing and customer experience, increasing engagement by pushing the boundaries with services like their iOS app that lets you try on shoes in augmented reality .

Even now when social distancing restrictions begin to lift, and people can shop (or do anything, really) in person again, they’ll be left with a level of expectation that they can still go to a concert, stream new releases, or have a fine-dining experience online if they so choose.

Even more than that, people are going to want to experience their favorite brands and services both in-person and online fluidly, sometimes simultaneously. Shop online and pick-up in-person will become the norm, and smart brands will make this a part of their differentiation and appeal.

Think about exclusive items like shoes or electronics. Brands could set up online lotteries or scheduling systems that create hype through viral means and then have customers pick up the items in person to create an even grander experiential service.

With possibilities like these, the desire to be able to virtually experience anything at any time anywhere will only grow. But we’re still barely scratching the surface of what these potential experiential services could look like. When someone can pick up and put down your product at any time on any device or just happen to show up in person, the opportunities to create unique adventures that bring back that coveted magic feeling will increase tenfold.

The idea of designing customer “journeys” in a siloed, linear sense will finally fizzle out, and businesses will be forced to think about users in a true relationship sense, considering the wants, emotions, and organic life cycles of customers in an increasingly human way.

As a CEO I’m often wrong — but that’s okay

Boris is the wise ol’ CEO of TNW who writes a weekly column on everything about being an entrepreneur in tech — from managing stress to embracing awkwardness. You can get his musings straight to your inbox by signing up for his newsletter!

Every now and again I’m right about something, and that gives me great joy. Sometimes though, I’m not correct, and that’s fine too. We can’t know everything and always make the right decisions. I’ve long ago come to terms with the fact I know a lot less about a lot of stuff than a lot of people. Fortunately, I also know a little more about some things than a lot of people, so it’s all good. Apart from that, I’m also able to change my mind and do it quickly.

I’m embarrassed to admit that a long time ago, I didn’t care much for diversity at work. I naively thought that everybody had the same chances in life, and building a company was stressful enough without having to deal with stuff like that. But then I listened to people who had the patience to explain to me why I was wrong, and how diversity is really an efficiency tool that makes companies work better. I now think it is an essential part of building a successful organization . Still, I remember not seeing that at all.

There was also a time that I didn’t really care about privacy. I told people, ‘I don’t have anything to hide, so why should I care?’ It took me a while to realize that this was a very selfish thing to say, and I’ve written about the importance of privacy many times since then.

More recently, and even more embarrassingly, I thought and claimed (out loud) that the fears around the coronavirus were overblown. The virus wasn’t much worse than the flu, I argued. But as I received more information, I realized I underestimated the situation, and I quickly changed my opinion and took action .

But these are far from being the only examples of where I believed something which turned out not to be true. Some examples are more embarrassing than others, and I’ll spare myself by not sharing them all. But, I’m glad I was able to change my mind. In fact, I’d argue that being ready to change your mind is an important skill to have.

When you do business (but I assume this applies to more than just doing business), you often act on incomplete data. You can’t wait until you have all the details, because then you’ll be too late. You act on a combination of some data, your gut feeling, and your experience. And then you stand firm. You proceed on the assumption that your prediction will come true, because what else can you do?

To make that work, however, you also need to adopt a ‘strong convictions, weakly held’ state of mind. Based on incomplete information, you’ll be 100% sure this is the next step you need to take. And when new information comes in which will lead to a different conclusion, well, then you’ll have to change your mind.

The real challenge here is then not to get hung up on the fact that you were wrong. I see it as a necessary skill to be able to switch opinions in the face of new events. You shouldn’t be ashamed about it or throw it in other people’s faces when they do it.

I’m grateful for those people who were patient enough to confront me with new facts that helped me change my mind. If those same people would’ve just said ‘He’s wrong, so he’s an idiot, and I’m not going to waste time on him,’ then I would be stuck with some awfully wrong opinions. Now I’ve been able to evolve, wise-up, and be smarter, and other people can too.

I truly believe everything I just wrote is the best way to go — but I could be wrong.

Can’t get enough of Boris? Check out his older stories here , and sign up for TNW’s newsletters here .