My name is Yessi, which is short for Yessica — and yes, that’s literally Jessica with a ‘Y.’

It’s not complicated, is it?

Well, you think that but every day I get countless emails addressed to Yossi, Yassi, Yussi, Yesse, and Mr Yassi.

The list goes on.

If you’ve scrolled this far, congratulations — I hope it’s given you some insight into what it’s like to have a unique, different, or dare I say it, foreign-sounding moniker.

Now, I’m white and privileged and while I realize there are far bigger problems in the world, I can’t even begin to tell you how frustrating it is to get an email when the sender hasn’t even bothered to spell your name correctly.

Sometimes it happens as a one-off, the sender realizes their mistake and they follow up with an apologetic email, which by the way, is totally fine. I can forgive a typo — that’s not an issue.

Mistakes happen and I’m not immune to making them but come on, my email address is yessi @thenextwebom. No excuse is valid.

In other instances, people continue to misspell my name during a lengthy email exchange — even after I’ve politely corrected them.

It’s your problem, not mine

For years, I tried really hard to ignore misspellings. Time and time again I told myself that people weren’t doing it on purpose (I know most don’t), that it wasn’t really a problem, and that I was over-reacting.

The thing is, though. It is a problem. Every Yassi, Yesso, or Yussi digs away at my identity. It’s othering — and what’s more, totally avoidable.

Olivia James , a London-based performance and confidence coach, told me I was right to feel offended because names are closely linked with identity and self-worth:

“All of us want to belong, we all want to feel like we matter, and we have a voice, and that we have value in the workplace. If people get our names wrong and are difficult about our names, all those inner wounds are activated.”

By wounds, James refers to the reaction that being called the wrong name triggers. In my case — as I discovered during our chat — it’s about reinforcing the notion that me having an unconventional name in the UK is my fault, like I’m somehow making life difficult for others.

This, James adds, can leave you feeling exhausted and frustrated — and these are emotions I’m certainly familiar with.

Yeah, but why will it cost me money?

So far, I’ve spoken about how getting someone’s name wrong — or making a point of mispronouncing it — can evoke negative emotions and feelings in the recipient, but it’s important to note that these can result in missed business opportunities for the culprit, or sender.

Now, here’s the crux of the matter. In my current role, I have the power: as a journalist, I can decide what I write about and whom.

People typically email me when they want to get press coverage, either for themselves or the clients they represent.

Like most journalists, I receive hundreds of emails a day, so don’t be surprised when I tell you that spelling my name correctly or incorrectly can determine whether an email is read or deleted; a company gets coverage or is ignored. Yes, I use it as a filter.

Every time my name is butchered I ask myself: why would I want to engage with someone who can’t even be bothered to get my name right? Why should I give this person my time?

In my case, I’m talking about the written exchange between a journalist (aka me) and a public relations exec or founder but I promise this applies across the whole business world.

If you’re a salesperson, or an entrepreneur, looking to connect with potential business partners, VCs, or clients, you better make sure you don’t shoot yourself in the foot by getting someone’s name wrong.

If you do, you’ll likely be perceived as lazy and careless and your mistake could be costly. That partnership you tirelessly worked on could fall through, your fundraising dreams may be slashed, and your clients may drop you all because you couldn’t even be bothered to spell their names correctly.

Now, I obviously can’t vouch for everyone else in the industry but I know my feelings are shared by many people whose names are also destroyed on a daily basis.

I really want you to know that I’m not trying to be sanctimonious. I’m simply highlighting how this seemingly innocent ‘mistake’ can be perceived as carelessness, and at times, as a lack of respect — and how something so menial as getting someone’s name wrong in an email, or mispronouncing it in the offline world, can prevent you or your business from making money.

In business, names do matter

Names are obviously important in our personal lives — why else do expectant parents spend months looking for a suitable moniker for their offspring?

But let me tell you, they are no less important in the world of work and there’s plenty of literature to support my argument.

Back in 2011, a New York University study found that easier-to-pronounce names often had higher-status positions at work. Prior to that, in 2009, a different study concluded that companies with easier names and ticker symbols tended to perform better in the stock market.

A study conducted by Marquette University in the US found evidence to suggest that names that were viewed as the least unique were more likable. People with common names were more likely to be hired than those with more unconventional names.

All in all, research for this piece unpacked a long list of research papers that looked at the correlation between peoples’ names and bias, and how this translated into success, or lack thereof, in the world of work.

My own experience with my own name has made me acutely aware of others’ struggles with their own.

You may think that getting someone else’s name wrong, or mispronouncing it is OK but put yourself in that person’s shoes and think about how that makes them feel. After all, isn’t empathy one of the most sought after qualities in business?

I’m not asking you to be perfect, but if you’re unsure about someone’s name ask — in the same way you would ask someone to clarify metrics in a fundraising deck.

Before sending an email, proof it. It literally takes one second and it could save you a lot of unnecessary pain and embarrassment.

I know you’re probably thinking that there are more pertinent business issues to focus on — especially in 2020 — but this is such an easy problem to solve so don’t let it be your downfall.

We need more ‘servant leaders’ — it’s time to reject fearmonger managers

Do you manage people at work? If so, how would you describe your role? If not, how would you describe the person who manages you? Think about it. I’ll give you a minute…

Do the words “public servant” come to mind? Unless you’re working for an elected official, the answer is almost certainly “no,” and that’s the reason why I founded BetterManager . Because our society views managing people as either an obligation or bragging right; it’s either something that pays the bills or a way to exercise power over others and inflate one’s ego.

Not unsurprisingly, 75% of employees said their manager was the most stressful part of their job.

This needs to change, and it can, by shifting the cultural paradigm from “manager as functionary” or “manager as fearmonger” to manager as a public servant.

Yes, I’m serious, just hear me out

Many CEOs and founders are philanthropists who serve the public good by donating personally to important causes or championing corporate social responsibility programs. These efforts are no doubt well-intentioned and, in many cases, long overdue. But, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

A recent report by McKinsey said it best: “Businesses looking to make an external social contribution should, paradoxically, look inside: improving workers’ job satisfaction could be the single most important thing they do.”

While many companies are legitimately reforming their business models to be more sustainable, just, and generally more responsible, these public-facing initiatives often obscure the reality that their own employees are unhappy. They might be poorly managed by people who view their roles as simply a mechanism for maintaining corporate operations and/or a license to belittle and make people feel small.

At best, these managers suck all the oxygen out of the room, so to speak. At worst, they create emotionally scarring, toxic environments that can destroy lives and entire organizations.

Instead, imagine if our culture viewed managing people the way teachers view their classrooms — as learning environments where people’s talents and curiosities are cultivated for the public good.

Say hello to servant leaders

Managers with a passion for serving others are called ‘servant leaders,’ and their philosophy is simple and effective.

Servant leadership is probably a term you’ve seen before while scrolling through your LinkedIn feed. It was coined by Robert Greenleaf in 1970 to describe a timeless philosophy:

It may sound idealistic, but I’ve seen the benefits first-hand–at Google, where I was privileged to serve as Finance Director, and even earlier in my youth while growing up in a small working-class town outside of Paris.

I understood the servant leadership philosophy at a young age, by watching my mom at work. As a doctor, she worked tirelessly to improve the wellbeing of our community, sometimes to the financial detriment of our family.

When I asked her why she didn’t “just accept more patients to make more money,” she was clear about her priorities. If she accepted more patients, it would decrease the quality of care, something she wasn’t willing to accept.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t frustrated by her answer, but I knew it was her truth. She became a doctor because she cared deeply about her community and wanted to see it thrive. Her work was motivated by human connection and growth, not profit, and people treasured her for it.

This is the most foundational element of servant leadership: meaningful connection for the benefit of others, not one’s own ego or advancement.

Try to recall the kindest, most empathetic healthcare provider you’ve ever known — the doctor who stitched up the backside of your head when you tried (and failed) to do a wheelie, or the nurse who supplied you with ice cream when you had your tonsils removed. You knew this person wanted to help you, and you didn’t fear them (unless they came towards you with a needle).

Now imagine that your manager at work embodied that same spirit of care and concern for you and other employees. How would it affect your overall job and life satisfaction? If you’ve got a pulse, it would likely improve your individual and team performance.

It would motivate you to become more engaged in your job and miss fewer days of work. You would likely find more meaning in your work and feel more fulfilled as a result. You’d probably never want to leave.

On the whole, you would feel psychologically safe to share your feedback and take intellectual risks

No assholes

Google’s famously culture-obsessed leaders understood this from the get-go. They summed up their most critical hiring requirement in a very clear and simple way: “no a**holes allowed.”

A potential hire could check the boxes in every category: fancy degrees, relevant experience, confidence, motivation, organization, etc., but the last box was the pivotal one. It determined whether or not they’d get the green light, and it was called lunch .

Would you want to eat lunch with this person every day? It was a question that seemed silly at first, but soon I understood how critical it was to our organization’s success.

Case in point, after months of interviewing candidates, I was pleasantly surprised when a candidate finally answered my brainteaser. Excited, I ran to tell my boss, whose response was, “Great, he’s smart, but can you picture him having lunch in the cafe?” He was right. We found someone else who was both stellar at problem-solving and an enjoyable lunchmate.

We thrived at Google because we were committed to sustaining a safe and supportive environment. More than this, we emphasized collaboration, emotional intelligence, and human connection. Companies that allow or even encourage fear between managers and employees will never reap the benefits of high employee satisfaction and will soon find themselves falling behind the competition.

Make the change and commit to it

Turning things around requires true investment in leadership development for managers at all levels and a commitment to ensuring a safe and supportive working environment for all employees.

Individual managers can choose to adopt a servant leadership mindset, but leaders at the top have the most power and responsibility to ensure that everyone thrives at work .

It’s time we imbued management with the moral and professional weight it deserves and requires. Industry experience and subject matter expertise do not equate with having people management skills, self-awareness, or a servant leadership mindset.

Though some are naturals at it, most people don’t know how to effectively manage others; it’s a learned set of skills that must be taught and practiced, just like anything else worth doing.

Ineffective managers can unintentionally create fear, anger, dysfunction, depression, absenteeism, and high turnover. Asshole managers have the same effect, intentionally. In contrast, studies show an empirical link between servant leadership, high levels of employee satisfaction, customer loyalty, and company profitability.

What do you think? Can we make the cultural shift to “managers as public servants?” Does the way a company treats its employees affect your willingness to buy their goods or services?

VCs need to make themselves accountable for founders’ mental wellbeing

It’s no secret that founding a company is stressful. Faced with the pressure of having to constantly sell your vision to stakeholders, and the fact that the majority of startups fail, it’s not surprising to hear that entrepreneurs are 50% more likely to experience mental health issues.

I’ve worked in venture capital for more than 10 years, but before I joined the industry, I founded a tech startup in my mid twenties. When I eventually found myself forced to wind the company down and return the capital I’d raised to my investors, I was confronted with my first real experience of failure and literally felt like I’d hit a wall.

Today I’m incredibly grateful for the insight and empathy that this early experience of founding a company allows me to bring to my work as a VC. The reality is that no one starts a company because they think it’s going to be an easy ride, or that they’ll be able to enjoy a good work-life balance.

People found companies because they’re passionate about solving a problem. Even though this can be hugely rewarding, the downside is that if your startup fails and your vision is taken away from you (which unfortunately happens all too often), it’s extremely difficult not to take it personally.

For founders, the highs are high and the lows are low. The entire journey from inception has a direct impact on founder mental health, with a 2019 study finding that almost 70% of founders had experienced sleep problems and/or depression while running their business.

Clearly there’s a real opportunity for VCs to offer support and help build founders’ resilience, and ultimately make sure the startup is best placed to succeed.

Mental wellbeing as performance management

As VCs it’s crucial that we start taking more responsibility for the founders whose startups we invest in. The founder is the single most important component of any startup, particularly at the early-stages.

And although we’re used to putting all sorts of functional expertise in front of founders to help with product, marketing and finance, we rarely give much thought to how we can help them thrive on a personal level and to ensure they’re able to perform at their best – and support them at their lowest points.

By overlooking founders’ personal wellbeing, VCs are missing a trick. Of the numerous factors that determine a startup’s chances of success, the founder’s individual performance is not only the most significant, but it is also something that can be improved with the right support.

If we view the founder’s wellbeing and mental health in terms of performance management, we can play a key role in helping them become the best possible leader and CEO during the early stages of a company’s life.

Most importantly, we shouldn’t be waiting until founders reach burnout before we address the issue of how to support better mental wellbeing. Although in an ideal world we’d all learn about the value of investing in our own mental health from a young age, there are clear steps that investors can take to help founders develop the mental resilience required to weather the highs and lows of building a company from the ground up.

Building a broad support network

One crucial means of maximizing founders’ personal performance is to equip them with the resources to build a broad support network. Ideally this should involve a combination of the following: peer support, mentorship, and professional coaching.

A peer support network might take the form of anything ranging from regular get-togethers with other founders, or more formal groups specifically designed to discuss the challenges of running a startup. Given 82% of solo founders experience loneliness , these connections can be really helpful in reducing isolation.

Mentoring and coaching on the other hand are more directly concerned with providing founders with guidance when it comes to solving the day-to-day problems of running a business. While a mentor might be someone 10 years older, who has experience of building their own company and can offer practical advice, a professional coach is there to help founders solve problems for themselves and provide accountability.

In my experience, the most valuable thing about having a coach is that, unlike a co-founder, adviser, spouse, investor, or employee, a coach doesn’t have a vested equity interest in the success of the company and isn’t typically familiar with the founders’ specific industry.

Instead the coach is paid to be there for the founder as an individual. They help untangle problems, identify areas where the founder isn’t at their best, and develop the resilience and stamina to deliver on a vision amid the turbulence of running a startup.

A more honest founder-VC relationship

If you ask the founder of one of your portfolio companies how things are going, they’re unlikely to be forthcoming with you about any personal struggles. It takes a lot of time and energy to build the trust where both parties can be transparent with one another. If this can be achieved it leads to better communication and long term decision making for a startup.

Fear and greed are commonplace in the startup world and yet the most powerful thing a VC can do is park their ego at the door and focus all their energy on helping to make the best decisions for a startup.

As a founder once said to me, investors are used to having a lot of ownership but not a lot of accountability when it comes to the startups and individuals they invest in. However, by taking an active role in managing founders’ personal health and performance, and seeing resilience as something that needs to be consciously developed, a startup stands a far greater chance of success.

So you like our media brand Growth Quarters ? You should join our Growth Quarters event track at TNW2020 , where you’ll hear how the most successful founders kickstarted and grew their companies.